Not really, just gotta be organic about it. ex. They hit you with a “Oh they got you working on Valentines Day? Thats rough.” You fire back with the sob story. Easy.
In the US the customers will say something similar to “They got you working on holiday/event?”
Without a glimmer of recognition that they are the reason you are working. Especially on Thanksgiving or days where people forget something small and need to run to the store.
Some people only seem to be comfortable if they’ve started a conversation with the waiters first (i.e other than “hi, are you ready to order?”). Americans especially! For these people, talkin in depth with strangers is a competitive sport.
In the US, so many people don’t have friends/lives/community. They just sleep and work (because no one here gets any time off). So, naturally, you learn to make conversation with strangers.
Because it is a form of small talk. My autistic ass tries to fit in, and if it was raining, i’d ask something about the weather. I worked in service and most of the time i was glad i wasn’t seen as a meat-robot but a human that can talk
Yeah, but not on the degrading basis of service workers having to explain why they work. If you want to start a conversation you can ask if they have anything planned for the day. Still intruding and rude but at least not condescending.
I mean you do see a difference in starting a conversation on equal level or from up on a high horse, right?
I see sense in that but (un?)fortunately I’m incapable of starting conversations IRL usually. Also I am a rare visitor at restaurants or cafés, so that doesn’t help either
Ah how I wish to live in Germany. Or anywhere off this continent.
Why? If they’re too stupid to comprehend that very fact, that if there were no customers the business would have no reason to commit scheduling. Critical thinking in the US has intentionally been eroded by the ruling class, from every possible angle.
Sometimes people understand this, and yet they still ask, in the name of ‘making conversation’. I appreciate their motivation but disagree with the approach.
You never had a stranger hit you with something personal out of the blue? It happens to me routinely. Yesterday I learned that a cashier at the gas station is tired because she moved a few months back and hasn’t finished unpacking but was looking forward to the birthday party her husband was throwing her next week.
Last month I learned a lady had had to move far from her friends and family and hadn’t seen her granddaughter in years, but hadn’t told anyone because she doesn’t have any friends here.
I just ask questions out of genuine curiosity. Sometimes (probably most of the time, tbh) I get surface level answers, but sometimes people need to talk to someone and I’ve been told that I “have one of those faces” that makes it easy to open up. Just because you would feel you are over sharing, and maybe culturally where you are these interactions wouldn’t happen, doesn’t mean they don’t happen or that they can’t.
I asked a waiter why he looked so tired and he relayed along story of how he and his long distance girl saw each other again and they stayed up all night talking about how to navigate this situation and if they should just breakup instead.
I asked a dad about his son at a baseball game and he talked the entire game about his boy, and at game end he was like holy shit I have monopolized this conversation. Lol
The europeans are bewildered by the American sport of small talk. They would be so out of their depth just walking down the street when people start smiling and waving at them.
tbf I’m American and I hate that shit too. I hate when my coworkers do it, I hate when strangers do it. I don’t want to hear your lame repetitive take on the weather, we fucking know, we’re all in the same fucking weather. Just order your sandwich and leave.
Here you’d get just weird looks for oversharing haha
Not really, just gotta be organic about it. ex. They hit you with a “Oh they got you working on Valentines Day? Thats rough.” You fire back with the sob story. Easy.
That’s really not acceptable behavior. They are a server. They are not expected to socialize. Well. They are expected to not socialize. (Germany)
I’m like 99% sure they’re American or maybe Canadian. Deffo not out of Europe which doesn’t really have a tipping culture.
Why would somebody say that? They are the customer necessitating workers working on that day.
So I agree with the other comment. Here (Germany), nobody would ask that in the first place.
In the US the customers will say something similar to “They got you working on holiday/event?”
Without a glimmer of recognition that they are the reason you are working. Especially on Thanksgiving or days where people forget something small and need to run to the store.
Cognitive dissonance is the REAL American Pastime lol
You don’t feel the dissonance if you’re too dumb to connect the dots taps head
Some people only seem to be comfortable if they’ve started a conversation with the waiters first (i.e other than “hi, are you ready to order?”). Americans especially! For these people, talkin in depth with strangers is a competitive sport.
Different cultures then. I’m there to eat not to talk.
In the US, so many people don’t have friends/lives/community. They just sleep and work (because no one here gets any time off). So, naturally, you learn to make conversation with strangers.
Am german, would ask…
Now I’m interested, why?
Because it is a form of small talk. My autistic ass tries to fit in, and if it was raining, i’d ask something about the weather. I worked in service and most of the time i was glad i wasn’t seen as a meat-robot but a human that can talk
See, and now a conversation is started
Yeah, but not on the degrading basis of service workers having to explain why they work. If you want to start a conversation you can ask if they have anything planned for the day. Still intruding and rude but at least not condescending.
I mean you do see a difference in starting a conversation on equal level or from up on a high horse, right?
I see sense in that but (un?)fortunately I’m incapable of starting conversations IRL usually. Also I am a rare visitor at restaurants or cafés, so that doesn’t help either
I mean no worries, restaurant are there for you to eat, not to talk to people, there are other businesses for that.
Ah how I wish to live in Germany. Or anywhere off this continent.
Why? If they’re too stupid to comprehend that very fact, that if there were no customers the business would have no reason to commit scheduling. Critical thinking in the US has intentionally been eroded by the ruling class, from every possible angle.
Sometimes people understand this, and yet they still ask, in the name of ‘making conversation’. I appreciate their motivation but disagree with the approach.
Yes really. There’s no way to share that here for people not to think you’re oversharing.
I’m sorry but they won’t lol
You never had a stranger hit you with something personal out of the blue? It happens to me routinely. Yesterday I learned that a cashier at the gas station is tired because she moved a few months back and hasn’t finished unpacking but was looking forward to the birthday party her husband was throwing her next week.
Last month I learned a lady had had to move far from her friends and family and hadn’t seen her granddaughter in years, but hadn’t told anyone because she doesn’t have any friends here.
I just ask questions out of genuine curiosity. Sometimes (probably most of the time, tbh) I get surface level answers, but sometimes people need to talk to someone and I’ve been told that I “have one of those faces” that makes it easy to open up. Just because you would feel you are over sharing, and maybe culturally where you are these interactions wouldn’t happen, doesn’t mean they don’t happen or that they can’t.
I get that too. Good listener vibes, as some say.
I asked a waiter why he looked so tired and he relayed along story of how he and his long distance girl saw each other again and they stayed up all night talking about how to navigate this situation and if they should just breakup instead.
I asked a dad about his son at a baseball game and he talked the entire game about his boy, and at game end he was like holy shit I have monopolized this conversation. Lol
Delicious sparks of human connection! Thank you for sharing.
Not a waiter, definitely. It would be major oversharing here, people just don’t do that.
“Here” being a European country I take it?
The europeans are bewildered by the American sport of small talk. They would be so out of their depth just walking down the street when people start smiling and waving at them.
tbf I’m American and I hate that shit too. I hate when my coworkers do it, I hate when strangers do it. I don’t want to hear your lame repetitive take on the weather, we fucking know, we’re all in the same fucking weather. Just order your sandwich and leave.
I don’t know, smiling and waving doesn’t seem that much out of place in Europe, but depends on specific location a lot
Plenty of places stateside where it’s out of character too
Yes