When I was in college, I was pretty into a girl, but was too nervous to ask her out. I’m also famously oblivious.
A few months into this, she texts me saying she needs someone to peer review a paper, and wants me to come over to her place the next night around 10. She also specifically says her roommate will he out and she knows neither of us are seeing anyone, so we’ll both be free to meet up.
So I go over there, and she comes out wearing yoga pants and a sports bra. I figure she’s wanting to go to bed pretty soon.
She asks if I want a drink, and I ask for some water…She grabs it for me and sits next to me on the couch, and I lean in and… ask for the paper.
She’s like, “Oh, yeah.” And she goes and prints it out and brings it to me.
It was pretty rough, and I peer-reviewed the shit out of it. I show her a bunch of mistakes and stuff, tell her she has some work to do, and leave.
I didn’t realize how much of a seemingly-cruel dumbass I was for like a year.
Oh man, I can feel the pain of that realization hitting in the middle of the night a year later.
Once at a music festival I was chatting with a girl while standing in line. We talked for about an hour, did our shopping together and when we were returning to our camps, she said “I’m over there, under that banner if You would like to find me later and hang out”. I said “I doubt that I will find You in this crowd” and went to my camp. I realized what I have done even before reaching my tent. Is it worse to realize a year later or 12min later but still not be able to take it back?
I mean 12 minutes later you still knew where to find her…
Oh god, this is painful.
Listen up, woman. I didn’t spend all this money on speakers to watch shit on a postage stamp.
Now hold still while I fire up Jellyfin.
Coffee’s not coffee; coffee is sex! People this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live




