Yeah, I do think women women on average put more effort into being physically attractive to men (certainly more time on average). I’m sure it’s controversial to say but on a basic 1-10 scale my gay friends rank higher on average than do my straight buddies, and I think that’s about effort, not nature.
I think hair, makeup,and clothes can change your base rank a lot but average women take advantage of this way more than average men while celebrity men and women both take full advantage so the 10 ranking is set just as high for both genders, but higher rankings are more attainable for “regular” women.
So maybe women aren’t so much pickier as it is that neither gender exists as a perfect bell curve in our natural state compared to 10s and a lot of women’s beauty is “unnatural” raising our ratings.
My husband and I are both pretty low key on attractiveness effort normally but the difference between me on an average Saturday and me attending a wedding is way bigger than his difference.
I’m sure it’s controversial to say but on a basic 1-10 scale my gay friends rank higher on average than do my straight buddies, and I think that’s about effort, not nature.
I am a bi guy, and this is the least controversial thing ever, imo, lol.
I don’t find the … basically lets call it ‘grooming effort gap’, to be a compelling explanation for the different scoring distributions.
Because… most men actually can tell when a woman is dressed to the nines and quite glammed up or what have you.
They’ll often utterly lack the vocabularly to accurately (muchless politely) describe this, but they have a strong internal heuristic way of doing this.
And most of them account for that in the way they rank the attractiveness of a woman.
By that I mean… they recognize it as gesture that takes effort and signals that someone is trying to be appealing, and that is a good thing…
…but they also know that it acts as a +1 or +2 bonus to the underlying score, or maybe a 1.25x multiplier, something like that, and then you can work backward to the ‘actual’ attractiveness score, basically.
Yet! You still have ~20% of women being rated as pretty darn attractive. Because guys can generally mostly tell when a woman will look quite attractive whether or not they’re in a photoshoot, or just finished running a marathon, or something like that.
This is why there is the whole weird mismatched female vs male social phenomenon of:
“I’m dressing up and doing make up for myself”
vs.
“Yeah, but what does she look like without makeup?”
Like uh… hopefully this isn’t a reality imploding thing to say, but men who value a long term relationship lie all the time to women asking whether or not that dress makes them look fat.
… but all of that is basically just my semi informed opinion, I could not off the top of my head produce like, a cluster of studies that prove that.
I suspect that if I spent enough time doing a meta analysis, I probably could find such studies, but I am currently way too lazy (and not being paid) to do that right now, lol.
Yeah. I wouldn’t call grooming unnatural, and the difference also had to do with staying in shape but yes - insofar as looks are something you do, and not just something you are, on average straight guys seem to do the least, and women generally do more to get looking how we want to look.
Like, I don’t makeup or straighten my hair but do at least organize my hair, do so much skincare, care how my clothes fit, work out, I guess just sort of care about appearance.
As I get older this disparity increases, guys who could skate on youth and metabolism hit a wall and age faster than guys who did stuff to stay in shape and used sunscreen, some skincare.
Yeah, I do think women women on average put more effort into being physically attractive to men (certainly more time on average). I’m sure it’s controversial to say but on a basic 1-10 scale my gay friends rank higher on average than do my straight buddies, and I think that’s about effort, not nature.
I think hair, makeup,and clothes can change your base rank a lot but average women take advantage of this way more than average men while celebrity men and women both take full advantage so the 10 ranking is set just as high for both genders, but higher rankings are more attainable for “regular” women.
So maybe women aren’t so much pickier as it is that neither gender exists as a perfect bell curve in our natural state compared to 10s and a lot of women’s beauty is “unnatural” raising our ratings.
My husband and I are both pretty low key on attractiveness effort normally but the difference between me on an average Saturday and me attending a wedding is way bigger than his difference.
I am a bi guy, and this is the least controversial thing ever, imo, lol.
I don’t find the … basically lets call it ‘grooming effort gap’, to be a compelling explanation for the different scoring distributions.
Because… most men actually can tell when a woman is dressed to the nines and quite glammed up or what have you.
They’ll often utterly lack the vocabularly to accurately (muchless politely) describe this, but they have a strong internal heuristic way of doing this.
And most of them account for that in the way they rank the attractiveness of a woman.
By that I mean… they recognize it as gesture that takes effort and signals that someone is trying to be appealing, and that is a good thing…
…but they also know that it acts as a +1 or +2 bonus to the underlying score, or maybe a 1.25x multiplier, something like that, and then you can work backward to the ‘actual’ attractiveness score, basically.
Yet! You still have ~20% of women being rated as pretty darn attractive. Because guys can generally mostly tell when a woman will look quite attractive whether or not they’re in a photoshoot, or just finished running a marathon, or something like that.
This is why there is the whole weird mismatched female vs male social phenomenon of:
“I’m dressing up and doing make up for myself”
vs.
“Yeah, but what does she look like without makeup?”
Like uh… hopefully this isn’t a reality imploding thing to say, but men who value a long term relationship lie all the time to women asking whether or not that dress makes them look fat.
… but all of that is basically just my semi informed opinion, I could not off the top of my head produce like, a cluster of studies that prove that.
I suspect that if I spent enough time doing a meta analysis, I probably could find such studies, but I am currently way too lazy (and not being paid) to do that right now, lol.
Yeah. I wouldn’t call grooming unnatural, and the difference also had to do with staying in shape but yes - insofar as looks are something you do, and not just something you are, on average straight guys seem to do the least, and women generally do more to get looking how we want to look.
Like, I don’t makeup or straighten my hair but do at least organize my hair, do so much skincare, care how my clothes fit, work out, I guess just sort of care about appearance.
As I get older this disparity increases, guys who could skate on youth and metabolism hit a wall and age faster than guys who did stuff to stay in shape and used sunscreen, some skincare.