My husband’s comment was “that’s silly. the whole point of marriage is to grow old together.”

This all makes sense, But do guys even have the yes/no? Most who I talk to about this (both straight and gay) say it’s more points for more beauty, that the prettier (for lack of a less gendered word) someone is, the more other stuff they might overlook, and that if someone is freaking awesome as a person, they can start to literally look more attractive to them. I don’t experience either of those.

Like they weight beauty in their evaluation, it’s a factor to set on there with everything else.

Oh boy do I agree it’s dehumanizing, it reminds me of dog shows and how they have “conformation” as a quality. Racists make me think of dog breeders too, it’s dehumanizing in a similar way. People aren’t breeds and beauty isn’t conformity.

I think my standards may not be standard (maybe nobody’s are) and I think of that 1-10 as a more universal ranking, like something a committee would set standards for.

Not whatever scale my husband is using that puts me at “smoking hot 10/10” when objectively that is not true, either, when I love someone they do not get better looking to me.

So maybe. But it doesn’t feel to me like it has much to do with how objectively good looking a guy is, it’s more like whether I can look at him comfortably. Which might exclude extremely good looking guys actually.

Both my long term guys I would put around the same good lookingness as me, so maybe buried in there is a ranking and it’s not conscious. Maybe the filter is 4<x>9.

Yeah. I wouldn’t call grooming unnatural, and the difference also had to do with staying in shape but yes - insofar as looks are something you do, and not just something you are, on average straight guys seem to do the least, and women generally do more to get looking how we want to look.

Like, I don’t makeup or straighten my hair but do at least organize my hair, do so much skincare, care how my clothes fit, work out, I guess just sort of care about appearance.

As I get older this disparity increases, guys who could skate on youth and metabolism hit a wall and age faster than guys who did stuff to stay in shape and used sunscreen, some skincare.

I have been thinking about this, and I know when I was younger, most of the guys I knew were not physically attractive, more of the women made an effort and looked good. So it’s not a ranking where you take ten people and line them up with 1 the ugliest and 10 the hottest, more like a percentage of possible good looks. Really there were no “10” guys around.

That doesn’t mean none were acceptable, at all- I’m sure I have written about this before but I’m straight and my judgement of guys’ physical attractiveness is binary - in or out. You look good enough? That is good enough, and everything else about you matters more. I am not going to like you better because you are hotter, and nobody is so good looking I can want them just based on looks. You don’t look good enough? Nothing else you are can matter. That “good enough” bar is not all that high, but it’s a hard line.

So the ranking of guys’ looks like 1-10 or whatever is completely separate from how attractive I might find them, if that makes sense.

Yuck

Beyond the obvious problem with conflating good with pretty

I don’t think pushing a person towards a more generic middle look makes them more attractive.

RIP dude.

God no. I had a 1967 mustang. Had to fix it every time I drove it, it drank gas like a gasoholic, everything was manual but in terms of life and cost, it was the most expense for the fewest miles and not reliable. Like even if it had been newly manufactured to the same specs it would not be reliable or safe or even fun to drive.

My brother, meanwhile, had a Corolla he kept for 300k miles without much maintenance.

I am still in my 2014 Honda, and expect to be able to use it for 10 more years. Now do I think the 2024 better than the 2014? Not really, most of what I want was already in this one, but modern cars are so much better built than vintage cars were.

275

Where I live they ran an interstate highway right through where the black business district was. Ripped through the middle of town. I hate that highway so much, they keep adding lanes too. Fucking racist twats and the effects reverberate to this day, no transit just more lanes because of handshake agreements between good ol’ boys in the 1960s.

“Nothing changes, even when it wants to” Hayes Carll

Clinton is problematic as fuck, but holy shit the difference between reading this and the “your mom” outrageously stupid sounding bullshit the current admin puts out is so remarkable. I do so miss having smart people at the top. Say what you want about Clinton and Obama, at least both were wicked smart and able to communicate well.

Oh fuck that. I would get a second opinion. At least now you know to underplay it. “I think it’s working, yes. Sleeping better and feeling a little better, no side effects that are bothersome, this one seems good, thanks.”

I think that’s a no, once you are 40 or so. The whole face kind of drops (everyone, not just ladies, that’s why you see the bottom teeth when The Rock smiles now - being in great shape doesn’t change this) and if you fill the top lip it ends up looking sneery because the shape is wrong. You would have to get the whole expensive and brutal face lift to move everything up first.

On really young people it can work ok IMO.

And overall I agree that GOOD work you don’t really see, all the relentless skincare I do works but nothing will keep you from moving through time. Celebrities who just look good and like they haven’t had work done have had face-lifts.

I send the request and list the troubleshooting steps I have tried. Mostly so that they know it’s not frivolous but also to avoid duplicate work.

But so often those stupid steps work. Turn it off and back on. Uninstall and reinstall.