• 3 Posts
  • 108 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: May 7th, 2024

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  • Imagine you’re a woman, about to sleep with a guy. You take his penis into your mouth, but all of the sudden his penis turns into a stick shift. And his whole body wraps around you and turns into a car. And now you’re sitting in the drivers seat with a stick shift stuck in your mouth.

    Then you hear in a loud robotic voice, AUTOBOTS! ROLL OUT!!!

    And suddenly the lamp in the room turns into a helicopter and flies away.

    It’s not until later that you realize that your hookup let his buddy disguise himself and sit in the room to watch.

    And then you wonder…if your boyfriend cums on your tits…is it just gasoline? Oil? Winshield wiper fluid?








  • I remember when I’d play goldeneye on N64.

    Granted the game hasn’t aged well, but for the time, it was the best game ever.

    So much so that now, whenI see a new 007 game announced, I get a momentary feeling of “OH SHIT!” until I remember it’s not going to be as fun as being 14, staying up all night in the summer, eating lays potato chips, drinking coke, dragging your balls across the losers face and laughing at him as everybody else holds him down, watching WWF Raw live, and then WCW Nitro on VHS recorded hours before, playing the improv one word game that all stoners play instinctively, recording vhs game boy camera movies. The summer of 1997 and 1998 was magical.

    For a brief moment, I get nostolgia anytime I see a new 007 game. Then I instantly remember it’ll never live up to those days of my youth, now in my 40s.

    Hey. Anyone else have grey hair and back pain?







  • I understood nothing you just said. Are you an alien from mars, who’s almost learned english, but not quite?

    Because if so…that’s pretty impressive. But also, you should leave earth. Humans have been known to kill other humans for having a different skin color, or for believing in a different magical man in the sky. I can’t imagine what they’d do to someone from another planet!

    Earth is not tolerant of others.