Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?

Turns out Epstein didn’t commit suicide after all: He just fell out of his notoriously unsecured cell window on the basement floor while the cameras were off.

“Fell out of window.”

“He was on the ground floor.”

“Fell out of window and face-planted twenty-six times.”

Countdown until Musk sues every single one of them for the crime, no treason of not giving him all their money.

Not at all. Political enemies of the Trump clan will be checked and balanced at every turn.

Look on the bright side, we’ll have so much raw data from the worst-managed possible country-sized control group. Except that they’ll probably react to attempts to document the results of their policies with book burnings and witch trials. Well, maybe we can smuggle in some camouflaged researchers or just watch the obituaries or something.

But EA clearly know how to rake in money with the yearly version of SportsGame 2021 2022 2023 2024. They are expected to make just as much cash by releasing the exact same movie every year. Who knows, maybe they’ll add microtransactions.

Countdown until it turns out that everybody associated with any competition to Musk’s companies just so happens to be a criminal Trump siccs his DOJ after: 5… 4…

The Onion writers: “Let’s go with this one, the real picks are too over the top.”

“WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN DO YOU WANT THE TERRORISTS TO WIN?? Now shut up and give us your private data and let us control your access to ‘your’ games.”

• Sony boss

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

Only until Trump is no longer the GOP’s darling. As soon as his grip on the Republican party’s balls is no longer all-encompassing, it’ll turn out that nobody ever really liked him or knew him at all and they actually were never really with him to begin with. Donald who again?

And even if he had been found guilty of a crime, then it would just have been a rigged trial. Innocence thus proven. Checkmate, laws.

What do you value higher - that one company’s profits or the public? Why are you so selfish? Why can’t you just be happy that that one company gets to hold the entire population hostage over the necessary good or service that they can then monopolise? It’s so much easier to squeeze the poor for all they own when their very survival depends on the things you can hand out or hold back at a whim. Something something the free market will probably prevent abuse or something, so it’s perfectly okay.

But he has money. If you’re rich, they let you do it.

“Stop or I will yell ‘stop’ again!”

At least they can finally admit that they are not a car company.

Don’t worry, no danger of killing real people in the Middle East. All the “collateral damage” will be brown people, not Americans. They’ll have all the kinks ironed out and will make sure that the AI doesn’t hurt white targets before the technology is distributed to every national police district.

I wish post even deserved a /s.

Did the missiles blindfold him and then stab him in the back five times?

Plus whatever FOX happens to vomit up that day.