Rob Schneider isn’t busy, they should call him.

Pascha is next weekend though…

Hopefully this one will pull a Zachery Taylor.

Being Secretary of State is hard, yo…

Work should be fun tonight…

Those inane Shakespeare plays are making the world a dumber place!

I go to the hospital to pick up my free aborted babies to turn into California cheeseburgers.

Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker has some of the most fun sailing physics of any ocean game I’ve ever played.

And the physics were realistic enough that you could fill out the map before you got the ability to control the winds just by tacking the boat.

which is known for its apple pie shops

Weird flex, but okay.

Corrupted, defanged, and ignored.

Don’t forget that they spent 150 million on getting Alberto Mielgo to make a cool cinematic trailer for the game.

And he’ll totally get that money out to you any day now. The check is in the mail.

Generation Zero. Player power builds slowly, especially in single player.

My money is on Massachusetts bringing back Pressing.

Fucking France, man…

I am a Meat Popsicle.

“We just wanted to treat our employees like slaves! Why is he doing this to us?”

ICE is jerks.

Calling me an idiot? Treason.

Selling classified information to a foreign government? Well that’s just good business.

Has no one seen The Forbin Project?