“honey, today’s your last day of work. Then it’s just you and me 24hrs a day.”

Operation failed successfully

Meme coin goes badly? How did I not see this coming?

Nuclear weapons? “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means”

The following states never expanded Medicaid.

Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Kansas, Mississippi, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Wisconsin, and Wyoming

If anyone was confused why some very red states weren’t on the list

What about Greenland? Don’t let that dream die, Donny!

I use an app called Tessie. It’s $5 a month for the rest of my life but i do like it . Keeps track of battery usage, trips, and links to Alexa.

She made the mistake of knowing her neighbors. It could have been a Trick-Or-Treater or an uber eats driver and she would be okay.

So is Joe!

I really wish Tesla could divorce dipsh** musk. I enjoy my Y but I can’t anymore

Minors be miners

How would a bird carry a coconut?

I do miss my traffic closer alerts, but that’s all.

Or someone can let the dogs out. And we can ask “who?”

I’m sorry I missed the opening ceremony in Paris. No wonder there was so much backlash.