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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • If you go on the subreddit for nurses there’s actually a pinned post reminding people that they’ll be banned for advocating for murder because the very day that headline first broke their were multiple posts and numerous comments to the effect of “good” and “who do we hope they get next?” A significant portion of the compassion fatigue (read: PTSD for people with empathy) affecting nurses these days is watching our patients suffer and die due to various health problems that they cannot afford to treat. ER nurses in particular are constantly bogged down with treating chronic conditions that have only become emergencies by being grossly undertreated. They got into this to save people from heart attacks and instead they’re getting wave after wave of demented nursing home residents with pressure ulcers full of maggots.

    The fact that Healthcare executives are trying to lump themselves in with nurses is even more disgusting when you realize that most of the reason we get our asses beat is because we’re usually physically standing the closest when the health insurance system fucks people over the hardest. They don’t know what to do, they don’t know who to turn to, and their life is at stake so they start swinging at whoever is closest and 9/10 times that’s a nurse (or nursing assistant). Healthcare executives are hands down the #1 root cause of the physical abuse of nurses; they ARE the ones getting us hit, and they don’t get to claim they’re one of us now that somebody finally came after the real culprit.



  • And if they wind up getting admitted to a psych ward (super common for the homeless, but I’ll get to that) depending on the acuity level of the unit as a whole sometimes they wind up losing the shirt. I work high high acuity psych which is meant for people experiencing acute psychosis who are a risk of immediate harm to themselves or others. So my unit isn’t supposed to have any clothing with hoods, strings, belts, or metal zippers, among other things. The problem is that the wider system lacks everything from affordable housing, to cold weather / storm shelters, or even lower acuity psych facilities.

    So you wind up having homeless people who fake or exaggerate suicidality or psychosis to get off the street for the night, but they’re rolling the dice on whether a crisis stabilization or other low acuity unit is available or whether they’re gonna get admitted to acute and wind up in paper scrubs with a neighbor in the next room screaming at the voices all night. Like they barely get to choose what clothes they have to begin with so there’s decent odds they’re wearing a t-shirt they can keep but about 60% of the time their pants need either a belt or drawstring to stay up.

    And the sad part is you can tell so many of them are just… used to that. They’re some of my favorite patients because they’re just chillin’ cracking jokes and eating shitty ice cream cups and Graham crackers waiting for the weather to dry out or warm up and they’re 100% fine with all the unit rules but like. They don’t actually need those rules but their neighbor very much needs everybody on the unit to not have those things (split between people not realizing they can’t give other patients things and just outright theft). And they’re just… used to that. That’s just their life. They just perpetually drift between various institutions between hospitals, shelters, and jails.

    And we store their stuff for them but shit gets misplaced all the fucking time even if all the employees are honest and doing their best. If they brought literally everything they own with them and it’s still several bags worth we often don’t have space allotted for it in the belongings room (most places I work set aside about a 15-30gal bin or a cubby / locker of similar size for each patient), so their bags just get stacked in a corner of the room and one gets stuck behind the shelf or whatever when they get discharged and we find it a month later after the social worker discharged them with a greyhound ticket to two states away. I suspect those are the newer homeless too. They probably steadily lose things a little bit at a time while they’re doing that institution hopping I mentioned.

    Sometimes I’m lucky just to have enough time in their admission to make sure their allergies and health history are in the system right, so there’s been times I get home at the end of the night and wonder FUCK did I log their belongings? Did one of my coworkers do it??? SHIT. Logging belongings and checking what can come on the unit and what can’t and making sure everything is written down to make sure they can get it back on discharge is just part of a several hour admission process and one time I was doing an entire admission on my own between checking another patient’s restraints every fifteen minutes after they’d assaulted another patient. I didn’t eat or piss for eight hours and as I was walking out the door over an hour after my shift was supposed to end I was thinking about what things I probably forgot to do. And on top of the honest people accidentally misplacing things I guarantee there’s shady people somewhere out there in the system straight up stealing shit sometimes.

    (oh and most clothing appropriate for cold weather is at least gonna have a hood, and probably also a possibly metal zipper and often drawstrings as well. What happens if you came in to get out of the cold and you can’t have your coat on the unit and somewhere in the storage process we lose it? Where are you gonna get another coat? You’re fucking homeless!)

    I had a friend ask how I feel about my part in this system and like. I am looking forward to and even working myself on ways to help progress the field beyond where we’re at but honestly my main gripe that we could fix right now is that what I do should be considered exclusively ICU level psych care. I should not be putting homeless people in paper scrubs (and honestly we need better psych safe clothing overall but that’s still taking people’s street clothes). I shouldn’t have to be taking random homeless people’s stuff and putting it in storage for it to get misplaced when they don’t actually need their things taken for them personally to be safe. They should just be going to an environment where it’s safe for them to have their things. I should be caring pretty much exclusively for people who are either genuinely too psychotic to not accidentally choke themselves on their clothing or who are actively hell bent on it. And even those people who need the level of care I’m providing should have actual homes somewhere to leave their things so I’m not responsible for them between making sure people don’t shiv each other.

    We need more truly affordable housing, more transient halfway houses to ease people back into them, and more low acuity psych facilities for people who really do just need a little extra monitoring for a second. Because right now we’re just shoving people into levels of care that are wildly inappropriate to the type and level of crisis they’re actually experiencing. Oh and also don’t get me started on the fact that filling those beds with homeless people is delaying care for the genuinely mentally ill (not that I’m blaming the homeless people trying not to freeze) because that is a whole other essay on how this issue is also overloading the mental health system. Sorry for the essay I just think about this a lot there have actually been a lot of times I’ve logged obviously sentimental items that I just really really hope got back to people on discharge.



  • Yeah the only reason I think he did it is I was already pretty sure they would catch him. When I first heard about it I knew there were probably already hundreds of FBI agents just looking for the one guy. The mcdonalds story is hinky as shit but I almost guarantee they got the right guy. They just don’t want to have to be honest about whatever weird backdoor they’ve got installed on all of our technology a) because they don’t want to give up their strategy but also b) its probably super illegal and not even remotely admissible in court.



  • Someone commented that they’re REALLY trying to take a bad photo of him. Literally anything they can play off as malicious, unhinged, or even “thuggish,” but every single time the man pulls a barney stinson. They tried putting him in a suicide smock (which I strongly question, even in psychiatry I’ve only had to use one a handful of times in almost ten years). They even tazed him until he pissed himself and he’s standing tall with his chin up. The man cannot take a bad photo and while I hate to say it’s true it probably will actuality give him an advantage in the court proceedings.



  • Every time I hear the words “qualified immunity” I think about this:

    I was first trained in acute psychiatry years ago to never ever in forever restrain people face down. Me and my highschool diploma were sitting in a side room in a state hospital for I shit you not a two. week. crash course in inpatient psychiatry after which they dumped me out on the unit to work with criminally insane men for two years. And in my four hour restraint class they hammered into us to never restrain people face down.

    I remember seeing two men fighting and I just figured I’d grab one and somebody else would grab the other and we’d pull and I remember looking over my guy’s shoulder and seeing the other guy gnawing on his face and then there’s a hole in my memory (likely about 60 seconds; it happens with adrenaline) and the next thing I remember I guess we had all fallen and I was laying on top of the guy I grabbed and I shit you not the very first thought in my head was “oh shit, he’s face down I need to get off him” and I slid to the side and just kept a hand hovering over his shoulders in case he tried to pop up and… idk, bite my face off or something. I didn’t even know who it was until he looked back at me. But they had hammered that one thing into my head that hard that I didn’t know what the fuck this guy was gonna do and the first thought in my head was still to get off him.

    So when I saw all these news stories and all this footage of the cops holding people facedown until they asphyxiate I started asking around. I don’t work with cops in the sense that they’re my coworkers but I do run into them a lot dropping off involuntary holds. So I started asking about how they’re trained to restrain people and if they have any training on how to protect people’s airways. And it turns out they do, actually. Everybody I asked pretty universally told me they’re trained to get the cuffs on then immediately turn them on their side. It’s not super advanced, in fact it’s super basic. Basic in the sense that you could’ve taught it to a highschool graduate in under two weeks.

    So it’s funny you mention not being trained for something because actually yeah they are trained to not do things that kill people and yet-






  • This is the corporation that administers the PA DOCs inmate commissary (don’t get me started on everything that is philosophically wrong with that sentence; I have a manifesto of my own to write). Mr. Mangione’s inmate ID# is QQ7787. The system requests an email address and will likely collect credit card information. I’ll try to see later this week if it will accept a burner email and a visa gift card purchased with cash, but my hopes are not high. I will tell you as someone vaguely familiar with the correctional system that in many places conditions are basically unlivable without commissary (again, don’t get me started). I also don’t know how much they will punitively restrict his access regardless of funds due to the political nature of his alleged crime. If they don’t allow privacy for those providing funds I will have to weigh how much I value my own privacy in this current political climate against my continued soft spot for those exposed to the correctional system.


  • Murder is bad etc but I get it.

    He did all the good of murdering a person in power responsible for the deaths of millions while simultaneously managing to not hurt a hair on literally a single other person’s head. I don’t even care about his politics he did the one thing that should truly unify all of us - removing the rich from their seats of power with literally the only outcome any of them truly fear. They don’t even have the excuse of innocent people getting hurt anymore. The man was a mass murderer and his kids can dry their tears on their trust fund money.