Genuinely this is why it’s important to humanize autistic people. If you paint autistic people as incapable with high support needs, they won’t get the help they need to grow up. It fucking sucks, and organizations like Autism Speaks contribute to this notion of autistic people being a drag on society instead of people who just need to be taught things a little differently sometimes.
This reminds me of a story. I knew someone who worked with an autistic person, and he’d keep answering the door in his underwear. She’d say, “Hey, you need to get dressed,” and off he’d go to get dressed, but she complained that this just kept happening. So I said to her, “Did you try telling him that he should be dressed before he answers the door?” Well, no, of course she hadn’t told him that because obviously she doesn’t want him answering the door in his underwear. So I told her, “The next time this happens, tell him, ‘It’s not appropriate to answer the door in your underwear. When I’m coming over, make sure you’re dressed before you answer the door.’” And what do you know, this autistic retiree doesn’t answer the door in his underwear any more. For her, at least, which is still an improvement, and at an age where most would have given up on him learning anything new. It just needed to be presented to him in a clear, unambiguous manner and he was happy to comply.
As an autistic myself, having specifics is definitely helpful. While my masking has helped with understanding intent and all that, that is after at least 3 decades of life to pick it up.
Genuinely this is why it’s important to humanize autistic people. If you paint autistic people as incapable with high support needs, they won’t get the help they need to grow up. It fucking sucks, and organizations like Autism Speaks contribute to this notion of autistic people being a drag on society instead of people who just need to be taught things a little differently sometimes.
Exactly so.
This reminds me of a story. I knew someone who worked with an autistic person, and he’d keep answering the door in his underwear. She’d say, “Hey, you need to get dressed,” and off he’d go to get dressed, but she complained that this just kept happening. So I said to her, “Did you try telling him that he should be dressed before he answers the door?” Well, no, of course she hadn’t told him that because obviously she doesn’t want him answering the door in his underwear. So I told her, “The next time this happens, tell him, ‘It’s not appropriate to answer the door in your underwear. When I’m coming over, make sure you’re dressed before you answer the door.’” And what do you know, this autistic retiree doesn’t answer the door in his underwear any more. For her, at least, which is still an improvement, and at an age where most would have given up on him learning anything new. It just needed to be presented to him in a clear, unambiguous manner and he was happy to comply.
As an autistic myself, having specifics is definitely helpful. While my masking has helped with understanding intent and all that, that is after at least 3 decades of life to pick it up.